Another Week in the Query Trenches

Hello, all you beautiful people. It’s been quite a week, hasn’t it? A month, maybe? I don’t know anymore.

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To be perfectly honest, my life hasn’t changed at all lately. I’ve been working from home for the past 2ish years, so I’m still working, same as always. And since I don’t go anywhere anyway, this is fine. Comparatively. Not an adjustment, in that respect.

Let’s talk querying, shall we? I’ve been fairly open about this process, aside from actual numbers, and I’ve shared my thoughts, the few highs, the many lows. This week has been no exception.

Here are some highlights from the past month or so: Continue reading

Your Manuscript is Like the Girl on the Bleachers at the School Dance

If you’re a querying writer (or were), I feel your pain.

I’ve been querying for a minute, and I can tell you, it ain’t fun. It’s an anticipation-letdown loop. It has its moments but more often than not, you’re doubting your very existence because of it.

But it’s necessary. Unless you’re one of those lucky few who have somehow found a way around the querying stage and snagged an agent anyway. I hate you. Good for you!

So I wrote about it in a stream of consciousness kind of way that you can hopefully follow and maybe even relate to. I don’t know if this will make sense to anyone but me, however, I’ve realized querying bears a striking similarity to a classic image.

Your unagented manuscript is the girl alone on the bleachers at the school dance. She’s waiting for a chance to dance with somebody.

Cue Whitney.

I know this sounds corny, but stay with me.

She looks the part. As in, you know she’s at a dance and not gym class or a rowing competition. The sprayed hair, the sparkly dress, the strappy shoes, you know the look. Continue reading

This Week in Querying…

Well, if you’re looking for good news, go to Twitter, but if you’re in search of a realistic view of a querying writer, you’re in the right place.

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I’ve been querying the same novel for a long time. Perhaps too long. But I’m not giving up on it because I still stand by it and believe that some day, maybe, possibility, it’ll happen.

In the past few days, I’ve sent new queries, and I’ve received…

  • a 638 day rejection. Yeah, you read that right. I’d written this off over a year ago. I mean, I sent the query in January of 08. As in, 2018! 18!
  • a personalized rejection on a partial request that stings more than any other. This agent is so awesome and it would’ve been a dream to work with her. And while I’m still proud of myself for getting past the querying stage, I’m beyond disappointed.
  • a form rejection received within 3 hours of sending the query

Continue reading

If An Agent Called Me, I Would Die

Happy Writing Wednesday! Here’s a glimpse into the insanity that is my writing life.

If you’ve spent some time here, you know I’m querying a novel. The process is so slow I’m not going to remember where I saved the document if an agent requests it. Know what I mean?

I get that agents are busy, but since I’ve been stalking like it’s my job, there’s one agent I submitted to with an average of 100 days to respond to a query. Um.

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I’ve been pretty lucky so far with my wait time. And although rejections sting, it’s nice to get it over with. For the sake of my pride, I’ve decided not to share my exact numbers with you, but when something worth sharing happens, I’ll be sure to post it. I will say, my first rejection this round hurt like hell, but they’ve gotten so much easier. #thebrightsideofrejection

I have a problem I’m trying to convince myself is not a problem. My book is too normal. When I started it, #ownvoices wasn’t a thing. At least it didn’t have hashtag. But now that’s all you see. My cast isn’t the most diverse–because the setting isn’t. It’s a small town, not NYC. And no one has any defining disability or anything. Had I known when I started writing this that I would try to get it published, I would’ve thrown something in there. But that’s the thing. I feel like so much media now is just checking off boxes. Like, let’s see, Asian? Check. Interracial couple? Check. Homosexual? Check. Anxiety disorder? Check. #forshame

The other problem I may have is the heat level. I mean, it’s probably PG-13 at the most. Sexy time scenes are not in my arsenal. I know there are agents out there who would like my book, but I don’t know where they are! I just wish I could send them a collection of Matt Bomer gifs, and say, “By the way, this is Mark Peterson.”

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Wait. What was I doing? I’ve been looking at gifs for the past 20 minutes. Continue reading

The Query Queazies

On this wonderful Writing Wednesday, I’d like to document the following:

I sent two queries today.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to vomit.

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Coming Soon: Part 2 — The Indomitable Inbox

Thanks for spending some time here. #dreambig #makeithappen

January 2019 Writing Update

I’m wondering if the way I feel about what I write is how parents feel for their children. You love them. But they also make you question your life choices.

I swear, depending on the day, I either think, you know, this is pretty good or why did I write this?

Yesterday, I was super pumped because while agent stalking, I found two agents that seem perfect. I was reading one #MSWL, and my story has all the things!

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Then today, I remembered I am one of a gazillion people with the same dream. *sigh* There’s such a fine line between being pessimistic and realistic. Know what I mean?

I’m about 95% finished with this current WIP dissection. By current, I mean, final. Because it has to be. However, I’ve already returned to chapter one because I’m obsessed and can’t leave it alone. My biggest obstacle I’m facing? My opening pages. I’ve managed to cut out some crap from earlier drafts, but I wish my chapter one was as good as say, chapter 12, for example? 😀 The beginning of my book has always been my least favorite part. If I could send an agent something from the middle, I’d feel so much more confident. Grrr. Continue reading

If You Want an Agent, Write YA?

Any underlying snark you may pick up on while reading is completely unintentional.

Listen. There’s something that’s been bothering me, and now’s the time to talk about it.

Why is it that every person who shares a “How I Got My Agent” story is a YA writer???

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Before you think I’m exaggerating, I did a simple google search: how I got an agent. Nine out of the first ten results were from YA/MG writers. NINE! (Not to mention, one of those results was a post highlighting the agent stories of 10 YA/MG authors. So, yeah.)

The only result that offered any hope to me was a Writer’s Digest article with a list of author stories. You know how many of those were YA/MG? Guess. Out of the first thirteen I read (I had to stop out of frustration), eight, one of which being a picture book.

And there’s so much sci-fi/fantasy stuff! Where are the normal people doing normal things? That’s my jam. Why isn’t there a place for these books? Agents, hello? Continue reading

A Writing Update on Writing Wednesday

Just wanted to check in on the writing front. Where all is quiet. #literarypun #suchadork

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The last query I sent was March 20th.

The last rejection was March 30th.

The last writing other than a blog post? Um…last year? Yeah, I think.

Continue reading

Don’t Worry. I’m Not Dead.

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I have returned. Please. Contain your excitement.

I’ve been a bit MIA lately. Twitter, this, my writing community… I’m such a routine-oriented person that when something new comes along, it throws me off so much that something’s gotta give. In this case, three somethings.

My cat’s social media presence is still very much alive. Because priorities.

So what’s been going on with me? What is it that has screwed over my precious routine?

I got a job, y’all.

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For that and other randomness, keep reading. 🙂

Continue reading

Twas the Day Before #PitMad…

…and all through the house, Lauren was freaking out.Related image


I’m not a poet. Sue me.

So tomorrow is the big day. #PitMad! For those who don’t know, #PitMad is a Twitter pitching event. You can tweet up to three different pitches throughout the day (8 AM – 8 PM). Now that Twitter has expanded its characters, it gives you a little more wiggle room to explain yourself. Thank God. “Likes” from agents equal query requests. Boom, baby!

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For more info, click here!

Continue reading